I’m listening to Casting Crowns, one of my favourite bands, and it makes me want to cry.
They are unbelievably and unconventionally honest about life, in their lyrics, and that’s what people struggling like me need today. There must be so many people out there encouraged to face their struggles after listening to the.
Songs like Who am I, Every man, Altar and the Door, If we are the body, If people pray, Stain Glass Masquerade, etc. just talk to me. Their songs are such a blunt affair that they don’t sugar it up with ‘it’s OKs and it’s alright’s’.
Being a lover of music, this band for me is a breath of fresh air from music, Christian and otherwise, because they actually make an issue out of issues which are an issue! I’m tired of the same old lyrics, same patterns, same words. And Casting Crowns makes you think and look at yourself in a mirror. Does the world see Jesus through what’s seen in the mirror? The truth, in my case is no, and their songs make me face up to that fact.
Their vocal combination of Mike Hall with Melodee Devevo backing him up is just fantastic. It’s one of those combinations which some amazingly great singers have used effectively; a rusty powerful male voice backed by an equally powerful and spirit filled female voice. I’m a great fan of it, especially having heard my favourites blessing us that way: Lenny LeBlanc (With Rachel Wilson in ‘Lord you have my heart’ and all his albums, aspecially, Above All) and Matt Redman (the song FACE DOWN and other songs) and so on.
If you have been following what have been writing in the past few days, you can see my thoughts oscillating like a pendulum.
Trust in God
I am in that place where you know what to tell people who are in trouble, because you truly believe that is the truth and the way the bible teaches. At the same time, I’m struggling to put them into practice.
There’s no more validity to what I say. Even as I tell me friend, hold on, God has a plan, I struggle wondering where God is and why He isn’t clear. But my strong belief is He will be so clear some time that I will be able to see and hear what He wants. Till then I must hold on to his promises. And , shut up.
But will He make himself clear? Or would I have to decode what His message is from all that I read and hear? Is He expecting me to solve a riddle? Or will He whisper that I won’t hear and miss it? This is where I would be making a fool of myself if I miss it. Well, that anxiety, as you can see, is till there.
It scares me. I’ll hold on still, because when, not if, God makes things clear, it will be a story which many will be able to identify with.
Finally, after many days of thinking over and churning my thoughts, I told them what I was going to do. The organisation I am planning of. The one where I want to use music and counselling and reach out to teens and youth and tell them about a loving God who’s waiting to have a relationship establisehd, and waiting to bless them.
It was very difficult. I didn’t want the emotional talk hanging in the atmosphere. I didn’t want to feel small. I didn’t want to see angry and ” He’s doing it again” faces.
I was waiting for an outburst and splurted it out calmly.
A few exchanges and then it was over. I couldn’t complete every detail or tell part B of the plan – the plan for this year.
but I have given the first part. Another explosion, may be tomorrow.
Stepping out in faith is scary. Felt a little lonely when they said a few things in opposition. Very logical and practical arguments, and I respect them for that. I’m concerned too. But I am ready to step out, believing the Lord wants it this way. (Does he? Oh God…)
Somehow, the fact that ‘since God called, He’s in control’, didn’t help me enough. I was still scared. It took me time to speak. It took me a long time to decide when to speak up.
But I am taking what came out in the Daily Reading book and following it. Immediately after dinner. It said, never bachtrack the decisions you took at your high point. They are meant to be followed even when things go wrong.
Couldn’t tell them part B.
Still a little scared. But I will tell them.