Casting Crowns for me

I’m listening to Casting Crowns, one of my favourite bands, and it makes me want to cry.

They are unbelievably and unconventionally honest about life, in their lyrics, and that’s what people struggling like me need today. There must be so many people out there encouraged to face their struggles after listening to the.

Songs like Who am I, Every man, Altar and the Door, If we are the body, If people pray, Stain Glass Masquerade, etc. just talk to me. Their songs are such a blunt affair that they don’t sugar it up with ‘it’s OKs and it’s alright’s’.

Being a lover of music, this band for me is a breath of fresh air from music, Christian and otherwise, because they actually make an issue out of issues which are an issue! I’m tired of the same old lyrics, same patterns, same words. And Casting Crowns makes you think and look at yourself in a mirror. Does the world see Jesus through what’s seen in the mirror? The truth, in my case is no, and their songs make me face up to that fact.

Their vocal combination of Mike Hall with Melodee Devevo backing him up is just fantastic. It’s one of those combinations which some amazingly great singers have used effectively; a rusty powerful male voice backed by an equally powerful and spirit filled female voice. I’m a great fan of it, especially having heard my favourites blessing us that way: Lenny LeBlanc (With Rachel Wilson in ‘Lord you have my heart’ and all his albums, aspecially, Above All) and Matt Redman (the song FACE DOWN and other songs) and so on.

Advertisements

Doors open and close

    Two options have I before me:

  1. Do some theology now and study further in Psychology/ Counselling later.

  2. Enroll on a Ph.D Psych programme and do a bit of theology later.

  3. Theology figures in both places, because when you set out for the Lord, you ought to have a clearer understanding of the troubles in clearly understanding God.

    Psychology, on the other hand, appears twice, as it is a my special are of interest.

    Which way? I’m waiting for some emails from some Universities about their Ph.D programmes.

    If I have to do theology next year, I’ll have to apply this year and the dead line for applications is August 31.

    My sister, very sweetly wrote in detail, amidst her busy schedule, that I should look for opening and closing doors now. That’s the best way to decide on His will at the moment. If it’s his will, doors will open, if it isn’t the doors will shut. She herself has an amazing story to tell of how she enrolled for her Ph.D at an American university all in just three and a half months. God opened the right doors and without wasting time she just entered them. Of course, she has a super supportive adventurous husband who’s achieving his big dreams one after the other! I’m very proud of both of them.

    I’m taking a walk down life’s corridor. Come and open door and I hop in.

    This is a very exciting phase.

Pendulum

 
 

If you have been following what have been writing in the past few days, you can see my thoughts oscillating like a pendulum.

 
 

Trust in God

 
 

Doubt.

 
 

Faith.

 
 

More faith.

 
 

Uncertainty.

 
 

Struggle.

 
 

Fatigue.

 
 

I am in that place where you know what to tell people who are in trouble, because you truly believe that is the truth and the way the bible teaches. At the same time, I’m struggling to put them into practice.

 
 

Caught.

 
 

There’s no more validity to what I say. Even as I tell me friend, hold on, God has a plan, I struggle wondering where God is and why He isn’t clear. But my strong belief is He will be so clear some time that I will be able to see and hear what He wants. Till then I must hold on to his promises. And , shut up.

 
 

But will He make himself clear? Or would I have to decode what His message is from all that I read and hear? Is He expecting me to solve a riddle? Or will He whisper that I won’t hear and miss it? This is where I would be making a fool of myself if I miss it. Well, that anxiety, as you can see, is till there.

 
 

It scares me. I’ll hold on still, because when, not if, God makes things clear, it will be a story which many will be able to identify with.

 
 

 
 

 
 

 
 

Fear of sticking to your guns – when I told them, again.

Finally, after many days of thinking over and churning my thoughts, I told them what I was going to do. The organisation I am planning of.  The one where I want to use music and counselling and reach out to teens and youth and tell them about a loving God who’s waiting to have a relationship establisehd, and waiting to bless them.
It was very difficult. I didn’t want the emotional talk hanging in the atmosphere. I didn’t want to feel small. I didn’t want to see angry and ” He’s doing it again” faces.
I was waiting for an outburst and splurted it out calmly.

A few exchanges and then it was over. I couldn’t complete every detail  or tell part B of the plan – the plan for this year.
but I have given the first part. Another explosion, may be tomorrow.

Stepping out in faith is scary. Felt a little lonely when they said a few things in opposition. Very logical and practical arguments, and I respect them for that.  I’m concerned too. But I am ready to step out, believing the Lord wants it this way. (Does he? Oh God…)

Somehow, the fact that ‘since God called, He’s in control’, didn’t help me enough. I was still scared. It took me time to speak. It took me a long time to decide when to speak up.

But I am taking what came out in the Daily Reading book and following it. Immediately after dinner. It said, never bachtrack the decisions you took at your high point. They are meant to be followed even when things go wrong.
Couldn’t tell them part B.
I will.
Still a little scared. But I will tell them.