I began this blog hoping to track my faith journey and reflect upon significant lessons I learnt on the way.
But I didn’t blog enough. Nor are all the significant lessons here. I didn’t take time to blog. I waited for time to come. The end result was temporally spaced blog full of tidbits which cannot give a whole picture. Later, I became lazy.
Then came a smartphone. I promptly downloaded the cool WordPress app. Still I was short of time. Here I am again.
Somewhere I did read about working in small chunks. It works. It doesnt, when all I want to write is that perfect blog post – which, eventually, never came.
So here I am again. Attempting a new start. This start holds a lot of promises for myself and those who might think of reading this blog. The promises arise from the new state I have found myself in. 5 years have passed since I began this blog.
1. Today, I have completed my theology degree, into which I timidly and uncertainly walked in.
It was worth it. To be honest, right now I feel like I know nothing. I’m told that is ok. After all theology isn’t a feeling, you know. It arises from it, perhaps, but isn’t necessarily contained by a feeling.
This qualification will, God willing take me to ordained pastoral ministry. That’s going to be a major change in my life. New identity. The same you in a new garb. You don’t become a priest overnight. You might be formed into it. And then grow up in it. It is a process like the life and development of a child. The only resource I would truly depend on in thia regard is God’s unceasing, free-flowing grace. I can’t go an inch further without it.
Then there are the limitations this life would gift to you. You will have to embrace them. Or should I? Instead, should I explore what it means to be a pastor to this age and time? The struggle is on inside me. I’m holding God accountable for that now.
2. Another new state in my life is that I am about to get married. In exactly a month. It is a new wonderful state to be in and I experience it as real. She’s a gift from God for which I can’t be thankful enough. She’s wonderful, patient, loving and blessed with a heart for the Lord.
And, beautiful. And the Lord needs to prepare me for this life together for which we are embarking upon, next month (26th May).
3. This is a more difficult one – it’s about cleaving from parents and being a new family. Of course, you don’t have to cut loose, but you and her start making independent family decisions. About money. About the course our life would take. About having kids. About spending our time and energy. About our direction in life. My parents and brother are there as support to us but the final decision is ours. I don’t want to pretend to be all-knowing and I admit that we have already enrolled ourselves in the school of hard knocks.
The Holy Spirit is with us as a faithful guide. We will consciously have to choose to trust in Him.