“As ministers-in-the-making . . .,” is a phrase I hear often at the Seminary chapel in homilies and prayers. I get a shiver down my spine every time i hear that. How unprepared I am, still.
The mood of such a person is very important. It could fluctuate, just like any other human being’s does. But this person must have it in in control. S/he must be composed, whenever and wherever. I am of the feeling that takes hard work, because there are a hundred things hidden in your head. When you slowly become aware of these things during meditation or prayer, you feel week, and also realise how dangerous your inside is – and you have been carrying it all along with you in your everyday deliberations.
All I can manage is to tell God to do something about it and make me what he wants me to be. Sometimes, you are so obsessed with yourself that you forget to even tell God. What danger.