Some people make you feel very uneasy. One of the reasons is that sometimes that relationship is not defined. When people fall in the regular categories of friend, brother, sister, best friend, neighbour, uncle, aunt, your friend’s parent, teacher, senior, pastor, and the like. But when some people blur those boundaries I am at a fix as to how to talk to them. How much intimacy can you show? How restrained should you be? What is decent?
Can they be your friend: but what if they are way older than your usual friends? Or younger? What about the ‘respect’ aspect with age? How close do you allow yourself to be with your friend without fearing crossing the line?
Sometimes, the lines are assumed. Sometimes, that friendship, if you can call that, is seamless. Some are fraught with tension within although on the outside everything looks fine.
Sometimes, to my surprise, they know, you know that this isn’t the ordinary types. And you just live, or let that person pass through your life, and the memories remain.
See! Do you understand what I mean by suspended feelings? It’s mainly because you can’t categorise them. The human mind works easier with categories, although that’s one way of narrowing the way it thinks and functions.
I know of beautiful persons who don’t let these things worry them. They are at home with suspended feelings. They just hang in the air and accept them as part of life. There is a sort of liberation in that, you know! I’ve been learning to be OK with that. And it’s showing a new door to life. A different way of experiencing it. The fear of ” where will this end up?” comes as it could end in discomfort or pain or even in just a beautiful way of living life. In fact, it doesn’t have to end. You can just live that way. Have you ever had these suspended feelings?