Here we go again, here we go again; Give it away now

Believe me, it is a difficult task to listen to God’s voice. I haven’t heard it and I am not even sure if one can actually hear, although there are people claiming that they have. Good for them; really.

Finding out God’s will in life is even more difficult.

Finally, I have just let Him do whatever. From where I thought I knew what the Lord had in store, in the form of an idea and a dream, I have come to make this short 5 month journey wherein I realised the God I knew is actually  the God I hadn’t known. There’s too much about God that no one really knows Him that well. Of course, this pearl of wisdom came from Jesus Himself when He said only He knew the father. But theology attempts to look at God in different ways, trying to put together the puzzle, with pieces which we believe He gave us. It’s interesting. You could spend a life time putting it together, and still not find him. Still the journey is worth it.

But a journey where we do just this and nothing else, is in itself not worth merit. That’s where your purpose in life comes in, I think. I just think, that’s all.

So it’s a surrender. Not yet complete. It never will be. But He still accepts.A surrender which says, you ride the boat, I’ll just sit here with you, because I have no clue where you are going.

Whether He wants me to ride it for a while, is something that I don’t know. Will I regret not being persistent? For giving up when I became tired mentally? Actually, it’s His problem. Really. That’s where it’s come to. I’ll just help solve His problem.

Here goes.

Take me with you. And I am damn scared, God.

One thought on “Here we go again, here we go again; Give it away now

  1. Haha I can relate to this quite a bit. I remember wanting so badly to ‘hear God’s voice’ – basically so I could get a manual for my life and then probably just spend my time working out what I’m supposed to be doing and not really bothering with him!

    In spite of ‘not hearing’ I ended up just where I think I’m meant to be. Then I wanted something different- to hear differently – to actually have a conversation – like Moses. Directly. Nothing prepared me for the dream I had in which I actually, physically heard a voice. I’ll tell you about it in person some time 🙂

    Finding out God’s will is difficult. I’m still trying to figure it out in many ways. I made notes in my wilderness years – can share if you want them. But you’ve worked quite a bit out. Surrender – even if its senseless – is also safe.

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