Skydiving in Faith

Bless me.

George Mathews — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 11:06:21 +0000

His name, as I later found out, was Kanshi. He bends down to touch my feet. Following him, other students bend low and touch my feet and rise, in quick succession.

As soon as the students at the Navajeevan Hostel at Khariar Road saw me, they touched my feet and I was supposed to bless them. I’m at the hostel on field work from my Theological College and have Me? Bless someone? Wait – I need to get straight first.I could do with some blessings myself even beforedaring to bless anyone.

I stand there knowing not what to do. A dagger cuts through my chest. I have been stabbed by the same dagger before and and te familiar feeling tells me it is guilt ( an old time foe), this time again.

Actually, it is their sign of respect. They say Namaste and touch my feet because I am elder to them and implies that I am someone who deserves respect. Hang on there a minute! I felt terrible when they touched my feet. The reasons is that I am quite ashamed of myself. They respect me and consider me someone to be respected. But do my thoughts and deeds deserve that respect? I ran through that thought over and over again.

Actually I don’t. They respect me , thought I am not all that worthy of respect.

I know how I think and what I think. And I am not proud of all that I think, do and say, either. This is despite being a theology student, studying in a seminary preparing for pastoral ministry in the church.

You see, all of that weighs me down and causes that strange feeling in my stomach. I’m not hungry now. May be I won’t be until this disturbing thought goes away.

Who am I to bless? No one.

But I must.

I must say “God bless you,” or “jeete raho,” or something good, so that my blessing will become a reality in their life.
Our words will take them a long way. Children live up to the expectations you give them. good or bad. So whether you are worthy of blessing someone or not, your blessing will be lived up to, and so will your curse.

No, I don’t deserve to bless you. But I have been asked to bless. You have touched my feet, expectantly. And bless I must. All the good in the world should come to you and through you, to others.

I don’t deserve to bless you, but I have been bestowed with the privilege of blessing you. Isn’t that what we call the grace of God? We didn’t deserve it, but yet God put us in a position to determine the good or bad in another person’s life! The dagger pierces deeper. Oh God! Who am i?

A boy is still at my feet. I place both my hands on his oiled hair and whisper, loud enough just for him to hear, ” Prabhu aashish kare!” ( May God bless you!)

Why did I commit!

George Mathews — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 13:38:55 +0000

Sometimes, I commit to something without thinking it through. When the time comes, I carry out the task I had committed to thinking, “Boy, this has got a lot more than I thought it had.”
But that has been a blessing. If I had known fully what that task entailed, then, perhaps, I would have not reallh said yes. That means that experience would not have been part of my life and I wouldn’t have been able to be part of that persons life in that way.
Hmmm…

Where am I right now?

George Mathews — Sat, 27 Aug 2011 18:28:12 +0000

God knows. How else can I answer that introspective question?

This past week I woke up to the realisation that I wasn’t trying hard enough in any of my efforts- academic, personal, and other areas of life. While it didn’t feel like the wrong bus, it just felt like having taken the State Transport instead of a private bus. Bad analogy, I know . I’ve been trying to do my best. Yet There isn’t time to do Everything. Should I be alright with that?

Gaelic prayer to the Holy Spirit – from www.thewords.com/articles/holypoem.htm

George Mathews — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 15:22:41 +0000

PRAYER TO THE HOLY SPIRIT
O Holy Spirit of greatest
power,
Come down upon us and subdue
us;
From Thy glorious mansion in
the heavens,
Thy light effulgent shed on
us.
Father beloved of every naked
one,
From Whom all gifts and
goodness come,
Our hearts illumine with Thy
mercy,
In Thy mercy shield us from
all harm.
Without Thy divinity there is
nothing
In man that can earn esteem;
Without Thyself; O King of
kings,
Sinless man can never be.
In succour Thou art of all the
best
Against the soul of wildest
speech;
Food art thou sweeter than all;
Sustain and guide us at every
time.
The knee that is stiff, O
Healer, make pliant,
The heart that is hard make
warm beneath Thy wing:
The soul that is wandering
from Thy path,
Grasp Thou his helm and he
shall not die.
Each thing that is foul cleanse
Thou early,
Each thing that is hard soften
Thou with Thy grace,
Each wound that is working us
pain,
O Best of Healers, make Thou
whole!
Give Thou to Thy people to be
diligent
To put their trust in Thee as
God,
That Thou mayest help them in
every hour
With the sevenfold gift, O
Holy Spirit generous!

Gaelic Prayer to the Holy Spirit

George Mathews — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 15:19:10 +0000

Good day, Sunshine.

George Mathews — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 18:56:48 +0000

Sunshine could be people, memories or feelings.

Today was special because it was a 26th (I’m writing in the tomorrow of yesterday now). a blessed day to remember how blessed I am.

It was also special because a friend who seemed to be a random entry into my subjectivity came home to spend time.

I must say it is also special (this might seem flimsy), because people you admire contact you to become friends.

It is the first time I saw my dad play the harmonica and mum, the recorder. Both are beginners but they were having a ball. Bro and I joined the music and it was blissful.

I bought some books which I think would help me function better in this world.

A lot of sunshine, isn’t it?

I hope to spread it.

Stages of group development. @myen

George Mathews — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 05:22:06 +0000

Groups don’t form immediately. 6 stages of their formation:
1. Forming/ An attempt is made to achieve cohesion among members by getting to know each other
2. Storming/ Personal recognition is sought in the group by taking personal stands, and issues become polarised.
3. Norming/ A counter movement develops to reduce hostility, to reopen communication and to reorganise the group into a more effective body, by evolving norms and standards for working together. 4. The group gets on with the task by adhering to the norms evolved.
5. Reforming/ In the midst of problems like a new deadline or arrival of new participants or a controversial new idea, a group may undergo storming. But the group may reveal its degree of strength in how well it copes with these very natural problems.
6. Adjourning/ Once the task is performed , the members go away from the group, each to his own organisation or task.

(Information from ‘Introduction to media and communication studies’)

Technical troubleshooting

George Mathews — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 20:19:01 +0000

Check

The fault-finder legalist

George Mathews — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 01:02:14 +0000

He had been raped by the majority who felt he deserved a lesson, when he first came. Today although he can’t stand on his own to do it, he rapes the younger ones. Today, he scrutinizes everything to find fault and be the man among Men. He Is a legalist with no two ways about it, unless it’s his or his friends’ matter. He has made himself indispensable by being the everything everywhere. Yet no one truly gives a damn.

You Can’t confront him because he doesn’t have the spine to take it, and would simply end up in gang-rape.
It must have begun with some egoists and some wounded souls. They have faithfully passed it down. Would not want to see it passed down further by wounded souls.

God, heal those wounded souls. Help the weak stand their ground. May righteousness prevail.

Nostalgisk

George Mathews — Thu, 03 Mar 2011 19:53:55 +0000

Why Is nostalgia constantly accompanied by the same bodily reactions as loneliness?